So once again - I'm branching out the British Balls. I'm not smart enough to write an entire piece on the attributes and funny misunderstandings of a word, so in honor of our recent return from the great country of Mexico, I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on lessons learned.
1. "Gracias" can and should be used in excess. Just continue to say it and you can pretty much get yourself out of or into any situation.
2. "First Class" - unless you are a 40-something businessman, people will assume you are famous, particularly if you keep your sunglasses on at all times. Even if they don't know who they think you are, they will respect you and gaze at you with wonder. This effect can be used to get laid but we at British Balls frown on such practices.
3. "Bruce & Becky" - if you run into a couple with these names who are large and boisterous do not engage in any type of competitive activity. They will always win.
4. Insulin will boil if left in the Mexican sunlight and should not be injected into the human body unless you are into that sort of thing...
5. If an illustrious pop icon dies unexpectedly (boiling insulin?), you will be informed within 32 minutes.
6. If a beloved t.v. star dies on the same day no one will care, even if you weren't in Mexico.
7. Do not attempt to decipher whether that fucking towel creature is a dinosaur or an elephant - such debates never end well and it has been documented to cause the end of 391 marriages every year.
8. No matter how much you pray in advance Chad Krueger will probably not be playing a secret show at your hotel.
9. That 19 year old you shouldn't be looking at, may be in fact be even younger, but her grandmother is probably ready and willing.
10. Drinking beers in a car is as much fun as it sounds.
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