In economics, bear is the adorable euphemism given to a downward spiral in the market. Investors, traders, and other a-sexual types then become timid, frightened of further investment, and quick to retreat in an orgy of selling, thus doing their patriotic duty to “protect themselves” (italics mine).
This should not be confused with the bull market. Named after the bear’s natural enemy, the bull marke
t is referred to as such due to the bull’s innate tendency for aggressive buying, unique understanding that what is best for the individual is best for the whole, and its instinctual disdain for regulation, the capital gains tax, and moral clarity.
Some have often wondered at the respective labels for two such conflicting market trends. Bulls are aggressive animals, famous for goring matadors, and turning romantic picnics into occasions of life threatening hilarity with the mere flick of a crimson table cloth. Bears too are agressive animals, known for tearing the guts from any man it sees coming through the woods, and turning romantic picnics into occasions of life threatening hilarity… watch out, egg salad!
The similarity between the icons used to explain such disparity might well seem arbitrary. This random symbolism might even make an especially astute observer wonder at the wisdom of trusting the free market as the cornerstone of our vibrant democracy.
But fear not, gentle reader (Carl).
We at British Balls have a comprehensive and masterful knowledge of the market, including the NASDAQ composite, the ALL 'DAT composite, the DOW Jones, the INDIANA Jones, the MRS. Jones, the S&P 500, the INDY 500, as well as the INDIANA S&P JONES 500… with some construction paper and a few ordinary straws, we can also make a little hat!
To further help our readers/sea captains fully appreciate the seemingly bizarre and arbitrary nature of Bear vs. Bull market iconoclasm, we now hand the reigns over to one of the kings of Wall Street; a genius of the dismal science, who’s intuitive business savvy and analytical acuity have made him a cornerstone of the global economy… our very own J.R. POWERCASH.
t is referred to as such due to the bull’s innate tendency for aggressive buying, unique understanding that what is best for the individual is best for the whole, and its instinctual disdain for regulation, the capital gains tax, and moral clarity.Some have often wondered at the respective labels for two such conflicting market trends. Bulls are aggressive animals, famous for goring matadors, and turning romantic picnics into occasions of life threatening hilarity with the mere flick of a crimson table cloth. Bears too are agressive animals, known for tearing the guts from any man it sees coming through the woods, and turning romantic picnics into occasions of life threatening hilarity… watch out, egg salad!
The similarity between the icons used to explain such disparity might well seem arbitrary. This random symbolism might even make an especially astute observer wonder at the wisdom of trusting the free market as the cornerstone of our vibrant democracy.
But fear not, gentle reader (Carl).
We at British Balls have a comprehensive and masterful knowledge of the market, including the NASDAQ composite, the ALL 'DAT composite, the DOW Jones, the INDIANA Jones, the MRS. Jones, the S&P 500, the INDY 500, as well as the INDIANA S&P JONES 500… with some construction paper and a few ordinary straws, we can also make a little hat!
To further help our readers/sea captains fully appreciate the seemingly bizarre and arbitrary nature of Bear vs. Bull market iconoclasm, we now hand the reigns over to one of the kings of Wall Street; a genius of the dismal science, who’s intuitive business savvy and analytical acuity have made him a cornerstone of the global economy… our very own J.R. POWERCASH.
"SHIT! SHIT! FUCK! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! OH, GOD, DEAR FUCKING GOD WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!?? I WAS SUPPOSED TO TRUST THIS GODDAMN NONSENSE!!! WE WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO BENIFIT FROM OUR COLLECTIVE GREED!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD!!!! OH, SWEET JESUS, NO! GOD, NO! NO! MY PORTFOLIO! MY RETIERMENT! MY SON’S FUCKING OXYGEN MONEY! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!? OH, GOD, IT’S OVER! IT’S ALL OVER, THIS IS IT!!! END OF THE ROAD! END OF HUMANITY, OH, CHRIST!"
Bear can also be used in reference to an area that no longer holds, if it ever did, anything for anyone. Kind of like Old Mother Hubbard. That dog sure wanted a bone. It really did.
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