Axe.

Axe – An easy ten points in Scrabble.



Axe – To inquire; a substitution for the vulgar and unnecessarily long “ask”. Popular among urban youths and middle-aged bailiffs. Scientists have known for well over a decade that using axe in any formal situation will never, under any circumstances, result in getting a job at NASA. Use it wisely.



Axe – A crude and unfair term for being “downsized”. Short for “getting the axe”, this unbelievably narrow-minded colloquialism is predicated on the notion that being “let go” is akin to a tree being violently severed from all that keeps it fed, grounded, and alive. It is these same “axed” rabble rouses who then go on to complain that their kids “died from lack of food, shelter and health care”, rather than the far more appropriate “got a case of the bunnies.”




Really, the nerve of some people…



Axe – When burying the hatchet just won’t do. Especially when it wasn’t a hatchet you buried in your ex-lover’s head, but an axe. Hence, the old saying, Never bring an hatchet to an axe fight. Also, never bring an axe to a bazooka fight, but that bit of wisdom has always been considered to be a little on the nose. Try bringing a bazooka to a potluck sometime. Or some pot to an axe fight. Whatever. Just tell Jason Voorhees that all of here at British Balls are sick of hearing him say axe instead of ask.




Axe – A deodorant body spray from Unilever, targeted towards males who swear they’re into women. While some might contend that Axe’s body spray is highly toxic due to several unsafe and dubious chemicals, including Hydrofluorocarbon 152A, we at British Balls disagree. To us, Axe body spray has the alluring and sensual bouquet of lilac, violet and chrysanthemum… all planning to date-rape a drunk sixteen-year old at a frat party.




Axe – Grind one shortly after some sickening act of betrayal. Then just sit back and rake in the cash.


Axe – As in the Axe Man. If you drive a car, he’ll axe the street. If you try to sit, he’ll axe the seat. If you get too cold, he’ll axe the heat. If you take a walk, he’ll axe your feet.

Not that funny, but most certainly proof that the Beatles should have held off on politics 'till after their first encounter with bangers and acid.





Goo-Goo G’Joob !