Chicks.

Chicks are pretty easy - oh wait - not like that - I just mean easy to handle, but not man-handle, I just mean get along with companionably, but not in a f*buddy sense...whew...This is exactly the problem with chicks. No matter what you say, it will come back to haunt you.

For example, everyone knows the cardinal rule to keeping your lady happy is to not call her fat, so when you innocently show up to her house with fat free Triscuits (because you prefer them) and fat free spray cheese (because what's more fun than that) and the new Wii Fit game (because you are a nerd), she suddenly thinks you think she's a cow. The fact that you also picked up a year supply of pills to prevent her from absorbing fat and scheduled her for a gastric bypass is irrelevant.

I hear you fellas, its a tough world for you. What? A guy can't buy his woman Hooked-on-Phonics to express his undying appreciation for her impeccable reading skills? A guy can't call his old lady a slut to acknowledge her mastery of the age old art of flirtation? In the words of the wisest man I know you are "just tryin' to live!"