Are we at British Balls presumptuous in saying such a thing?
Great balls of fire, yes.
Of course things have kind of changed since he was born into this world: wide eyed and in desperate need of love, ready to accept whatever people told him without any urge to discover for himself what lay behind the empty lessons , contrived rhetoric, ad hoc explanations, and Republican spin doctors.
Having earned his name in journalism from the brothers at Alpha Epsilon Pi, British Balls has gone on to combine other facets of his life with total disregard for research and intellectual curiosity. For example, did you know that Wolf Blitzer was single handedly responsible for the ten plagues of Egypt as well as the career of Marc Jefferies, front man for the Brit-Punk band, The Plague?
Neither did we!
But unnamed sources within my head have informed me that informers within the inner circle of my imagination now have alleged evidence that Wolf Blitzer is actually the one writing this piece right now; even as I watch the words pour from my fingers and can, with a simple bout of Socratic dialogue, prove that it is, sadly, me who is responsible for the invasion of Iraq.
Yes, we at British Balls salute this man. All that we write upon these pages comes live and direct from his lessons in journalistic excellence. We look at the facts, then let a string-heavy montage wreak havoc on our fragile little brains. We then copy down facts, do a little dance, grow a beard, and make a bold and decisive move to resist all urge to analyze or question anything on the teleprompter.
On a more hilarious note, Wolf is now the dapper, well-meaning host of CNN’s Jerry Bruckheimeresque The Situation Room.
...On a more disgusting note, Wolf Blitzer is a graying, 70's vagina.
Do the hustle!
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